I’ve just got off the phone with a bride whose wedding is this weekend. When we first met she was calm, laughing at all my jokes, really looking forward to the Big Day. An hour ago she screamed into the phone that she “Just wants it to be over!”
Everything falls on the
Bride – the planning, the venue, the vendors, the food, the guest list,
organizing tables, will the groom forget the tuxes – all the millions of little
things that happen at the wedding (if you’re asking where the groom is in all
this, he’s usually told to stay out of the way. Or worse, he’s given the task of
Hiring the DJ …these are the flustered calls I get in May for an August wedding
(he forgot!)
So EVERY bride is
completely stressed in the days and weeks leading to the wedding. In 20 years of
organizing weddings I’ve found that the following three tips will alleviate most
of the stress…
1)
Planning – For my part, I sit with the bride 2 weeks before the wedding
and plan every tiny aspect of the Ceremony and Reception with her. We select
songs for all the events, we choose the events and order of the events, I walk
her through every step of the reception from cocktail hour to last dance. Then I
reassure her that I will make all this happen.
About 2 days later I send her a very Detailed Itinerary of everything we planned together (see my site (www.StarryNiteDJs.com) for samples). Without exception, every bride has commented that when they saw the wedding planned out step-by-step, and felt sure that Someone was there to Coordinate everything, their stress dropped from frantic to low-boil.
2)
Worst Case Scenario – Sit down and list Everything that could possibly go
wrong. The Limo is late, the photographer doesn’t show, the DJ’s equipment
crashes, the JP is lost, it’s too hot or rainy for the Beach ceremony, Groom is
out with friends that morning. List it all on the left side of a sheet of
paper.
Next, list next to those
the Worst possible result of each – No wedding Pictures, a terrible party
without music, etc. List the worst possible result.
Finally, List everything
you can do if that thing happens. You can have guests take the pix, get a boom
box for the music, call another JP quickly, etc. This is what you can Control,
and gives you a back-up plan. If everything fails, this is what you can do – a
Plan of Action.
Now, realize that this
is all you can do – you’ve used every ounce of your ability to make it all
happen. Now you have a back-up plan for all possible scenarios. Hand it to your
maid of honor, and have her call all the vendors once more to ask them THEIR
back-up plan. Put that on your list too. Then, you’ve done ALL you can do.
Also remember that most
things are really fixable on the spot.
3)
Guests Won’t Notice – Realize that the guests WILL notice all the little
details if they work out – they’ll love the Centerpieces and the song selection
and the Candy Bar you’ve spent all night creating. But they will not notice the
things that did not happen! If the Centerpieces were missing the candle – THEY
WON’T Care! If the DJ forgets a Special Song they won’t care. If a Chandelier
falls during the First Dance They Won’t Care! They will ONLY remember what DID
happen. Also remember that they are your loved ones, and will understand if
something does go wrong.
Your job is to create a
Wonderful Environment for the Wedding – to make it Memorable. No, wait – That’s
My Job as Coordinator! Your job is to Plan, Organize, and Enjoy Your Wedding, no
matter what happens (always expect 2-3 things to go wrong!). It’s all going to
happen in it’s way. You’ve done the Best you ever could – no stone unturned.
That’s ALL you can do. You’ve done a Great Job, now just let it happen.
www.starrynitedjs.com- Full Reception only $900!
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